Pressing Toward the Mark

The Stuff of Life

2011-01-28T02:32:00.000-08:00

Hello,

It's The Nameless One again. I'm just gonna get straight to the point. What happens when you have one discouraging thing right after another befall you? And it's not just a bunch of big discouraging things, but all the little things that eventually turn into this one, big despair.

You know, like, when you're late for a meeting or an appointment. Or when someone really gets on your nerves and you lash out at them, and later regret it. Or when you break a dish. Or how about when you can't find something at a time when you really need it. Or when you get a nice outfit soiled. All those little discouraging things that get you down. And you wonder why they have to happen. Wouldn't life be better without them?

But, what about character and learning the lessons of life bit by bit? What about being able to appreciate the good things in life and learning how much attitudes really matter? What would happen to all that if those annoyances were to disappear?

The everyday grind of life. The things that frustrate and annoy you; the things that aggravate and anger you; the things that. . .that are a part of the life we live, and part of the stuff God uses to mold and shape us in His likeness. The everyday grandeur of life. The things that make you smile and laugh; the things that bring you joy and happiness; the things that. . .that are a part of the life we live, and part of the stuff God uses to mold and shape us in His likeness.

It's nice to know that God uses both in your life. To know that you can learn from your mistakes and move on, and that God has a plan and purpose for your life that includes all the moments--both the good and the not-so-good.

Signing out,
The Nameless One

P.S. As The Nameless One, I've never done this before, but I'd like to share a song that goes hand in hand with this post and helped inspire it: This Is The Stuff

A Basketful of Weakness

2010-12-13T20:54:00.000-08:00

So sweet and smiley
So nice and warm-hearted
The strengths of a person,
So simply one-sided.

Their deeds and accomplishments
Their daring and bravery.
But their secrets and struggles,
Still kept in slavery.

The aches and the pains
The failures and bleakness
All kept inside,
A basket of weakness.

The lies shroud out
Any hope that you hold.
Crushing, destroying
The misery unfolds.

It must spill out,
It must be told.
The pain can't hide,
Can no longer withhold

To tell a friend,
And shed some tears.
Release it all,
And calm your fears.

Not alone in all the muddle.
Not alone in the fight.
Many know the rugged path
And how it ends so bright.

The deeper each one probes the heart,
A bond there is to find.
Growing ever stronger,
And being ever refined.

For Christ said,
"My grace is sufficient for thee,
My power made perfect in weakness."
Oh, the wonderful love of a Savior as He.

A basketful of weakness
Made strong through the Blood.
So perfect in splendor,
Overflows as a flood.

Oh, thank God,
I'm a basketful of weakness.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
~2 Corinthians 12:9

Children

2010-11-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

With their candor and sayings,
With their games and their playings.
With their cute little noses,
And their made-up noises.

With their scrapes and their bruises,
With their breaths and their snoozes.

With their crayons and their numbers
With their curiosity and blunders.

With their tears and their hurts,
With their scares and their blurts.

With their trust and simplicity,
And their amazing authenticity.

The spices of life to spread 'ore the world,
God's gift to us, stories to unfold.

The Beauty of the Heart

2010-08-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

Beating, beating

Life it gives.

Red as rubies

As it lives.

Deeper, deeper

Deeper still.

Getting darker

As it will.

Searching, searching

Finding sin.

Black as coal

Deep within

Crying, crying

Crying out.

Its helpless plea

And fearful doubt

Stretching, stretching

Out its arms.

The Spirit moves,

And calms alarms.

Gently, gently

Washing clean.

Making new

The heart once mean.

Slowly, slowly

Like the clay.

The Potter shapes

Day by day.

Turning, turning

The hardened heart.

Lovely softening,

The rough, torn parts.

Painful, painful

As it is.

The heart can smile

And rejoices.

Lovely, lovely

The heart drawn to Him

Never by force,

And filled to the brim.

Press On-Selah

2010-05-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

Living for God One Step at a Time

2010-05-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

The world says that greatness is wealth, beauty, smarts, fame, etc. It says that in order for women to succeed we must be independent, get our degrees, be financially successful to do whatever we please. A woman who nurtures her children, keeps order in her household, blesses those around her by her gentleness and submissive spirit to her husband (Proverbs 31; Titus 2), is neither praised nor valued by society. And sometimes, because Christ isn't at the center of our lives, the grass starts to look greener on the other side. The world's ways start looking more appealing, and our focus gets lost. It might be a time of complaining and griping about how little we can accomplish and it seems like nothing ever happens. Or maybe it might be more drastic, like running away from our problems by pretending they aren't there and don't affect us. So it may seem, that when we get to these points, hope fades away. How is it possible to turn back to the truth when we've rejected it so much? But there is always hope, because of a Friend and Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Becoming a woman of God is a slow and long process that takes time, patience, mistakes, getting back up and starting again; it's a process that is painful yet amazing, ugly yet beautiful, and it's a process that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. May we be continually reminded that God's way is best no matter how green the grass looks on the other side. . .

She sits at her desk

As she thinks of her tasks.

The monotony, the drudgery,

Is this all life asks?

What of the dishes?

What of the clothes?

Shopping and meals,

“Do we need more of those?”

The life-changing things

Is what I want, she says.

The challenge, the adventure,

Living life on the edge.

How long must she stay here?

What must she do?

To end this path mundane,

And start life anew?

So she starts her seeking,

And looking around.

But then something hits her,

And its message resounds.

Bold are the words

As they run through her mind

“Why aren't you seeking Me instead?”

Rang like a chime.

“You waste so much effort

On plans that aren't Mine.

Be still and listen.

And then you will find...

That all the monotony and drudgery

Is exactly the thing I want you to do.

Be patient,

Take joy in all tasks that I give you.

Learn to be virtuous,

Learn to be pure.

Learn obedience,

While I give strength to endure.

The girl could now see

What her problem had been.

She now was contrite,

And ashamed of her sin.

But the Lord saw her sorrow,

And gently reminded;

His grace was sufficient,

And His love was not blinded.

She renewed her commitment

And learned to obey.

The years passed on,

And now today?

Her husband and children

Can't thank God enough

For the blessing He's given them

Once a diamond in the rough.

She lives as a light.

Silently, gloriously

As the threads of her life,

Leave their mark upon history.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. ~Proverbs 31:10
And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. ~1 John 2:17

One Million Chains

2010-02-25T15:06:00.001-08:00

One million chains,
All wrapped around.
So binding and heavy,
I fall to the ground.

One million chains,
They dig and they tear.
It hurts so much,
I can hardly bear.

One million chains
I cry out through the pain.
Tears fall one by one,
As the heaviness gains.

One million chains
Can I ever be free?
The darkness falls and the silence deafens,
But something inside stills me.

One million chains
A light shines through the darkness
A voice calls my name.
My eyes strain and see brightness.

One million chains
The voice says, “Come.”
I shake my head,
How can I move with this ton?

One million chains
The voice beckons again.
I pitifully look up,
Willing to give in.

One million chains
I move toward the light,
And strain every muscle.
Somehow, as I move, my burden gets light.

One million chains
A picture before me, as I get closer.
It looks like a cross,
Being borne on a shoulder.

One million chains
A man comes into view.
He's so battered and torn.
Does that sign say “King of the Jews”?

One million chains
I start to realize,
What He is doing.
And it brings a wrenching outcry.

One million chains
He called my name,
And showed me why.
I must now proclaim.

One million chains
I accept His offer.
His tender look,
Lets me know He's now my Father.

One million chains
All broken and gone.
They fall off one by one.
My wounds heal as the day dawns.

One million reasons
To praise His name.
His love so deep, so powerful
I can't contain.

Growing in the Gap...

2010-01-28T21:59:00.000-08:00

Hello,

It's me again, The Nameless One. I know it has been a while since I've written, but there are many times when the pen just refuses to write the page. But it's starting to write it again, for a little while at least...

You know when you sit on a chair without even thinking? Or what about when a father is teaching his child how to ride a bike? It's all so scary at first, and the child wants the father right there with her to watch her every move. But then, it becomes second nature, and the child no longer needs her father's guidance. How about a baby bird that is just learning to leave the nest? Or a person who keeps digging for gold even though he knows it might not be there? Trust. So much wrapped up in five little letters put together.

What happens when you completely trust something or someone and then that something or someone does something that makes you have to rebuild that trust all over again? What happens when your heart feels so torn and betrayed? When who you treasure the most feels like they've turned their back on you? And it hurts. So much. You'd just rather die. What if that someone was God? And you wonder how He could possibly allow that much pain to be inflicted upon you? Then you realize...

That He hasn't abandoned you. That the pain is only temporary. That you will smile and trust Him completely again. That all that searing pain brought you through a cleansing fire and mad you purer than gold. And that your relationship with the Savior only grew stronger and more beautiful as you realize the pain that He went through was ten times worse than yours, and that He understands so dearly. The lessons are long and hard, but the peace of the Father's hand slowly molding you is comforting in the fullest.

Signing Out,
The Nameless One

The Fire

2009-10-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

Great is His Faithfulness

2009-09-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

I usually don't have posts where I directly talk about what God has been doing in my life. But sometimes, like now, there is just no better way to give God the glory than by simply telling the facts just the way they are, without any kind of fictional embellishments. ;) So get comfortable, 'cause this story, this real story, is a bit on the long side...

For many years now, I've been led to go on a mission trip. When I was younger, I had this dream (yes, an actual dream) of going to Africa, so I always thought God wanted me to go there for a mission trip, and who knows, maybe someday I still will. :) But this summer the Spirit really put a burden on my heart to go on a trip this year. I had no idea where to start or who to go with since I'd never been on a mission trip before let alone overseas! My prayer was, "Ok, Lord. You're just gonna have to lay it all in my lap if You want me to go somewhere." Well, I have some friends in Chicago who go on medical mission trips periodically with an organization called Operation Renewed Hope. I was talking to mom one day about wanting to go on a mission trip and how I was being more burdened about it, and she suggested that I ask these friends if I could come along. This month will be 7 years since I've seen the family, and I've kept in touch with one of the girls on and off over the years. So I send her an e-mail, but she doesn't respond. I'm also friends with her on FB and saw that she was on chat. I debated whether or not I should say 'hi' and I finally decided to go ahead and do so. She replied and said, "I'm so sorry that I haven't answered your e-mail, things have been busy. But we would love to have you come with us on a trip!" So, she starts giving me information about an upcoming trip to India which is in November; and I start looking into things such as getting a visa, vaccines, and other things I would need to bring along. Even though I started doing these things, I had no idea if this was where God wanted me to go. The trip alone cost $2700, and I had a little over half of that. That cost didn't include the money I needed for a visa, vaccines, a plane ticket to get to the group meeting place in the U.S., supplies, and a little extra in case of an emergency. So, I guess you could say I was sort of in a pickle. The finances were a big deal, and I knew that if God wanted me to go, He would provide. I continued to do research, especially with getting a visa since I needed to get it as soon as possible and already had my passport.

While I was working on that, there were little things I noticed. Such as reading a book which gave an example about a theologian who was from India; and who used instances showing how logic is basically the same in Western and Eastern countries, using India as the example for the Eastern country. Or when I talked to friends about the about possibly going, they'd say, “Oh, I've always wanted to go there!” Which I thought was pretty neat But you might be wondering what these incidents have to do with anything, and if you're like me, you'll tend to take things to the extreme. When I start to focus on something or think a lot about it, I tend to notice little things that related to what I thought about. For example, I would read a book and it would mention something that I'm focusing on (i.e. I want to go to the Philippines, so I automatically become more sensitive to that word), and then I would take that sensitivity as a 'sign' from God that that's what He wanted me to do. But by doing that, I would let my emotions get ahead of myself, and instead of doing something because God wanted me to, I would do it because I wanted to. And I didn't want to do that with this mission trip. So by the grace of God, I've been able to keep my emotions in check and just think of these “coincidences” as neat, but not necessarily a sign from God.

Anyways, back to the story. When it came time for me to purchase my visa, I had to make a decision. The visa cost $115 and this was a point of no turning back for me if I were to get the it. I cried out to God, asking Him for direction. Doubts filled my head. Here I was about to spend $115 on a visa which take me on a trip that would devour me of all my savings, every penny I had. Nor did I have most of the initial cost of the trip, much less all the money I needed for the entire process of the trip! How could this possibly be smart?!? I agonized and pleaded desperately with Lord, and He finally gave me peace about getting the visa. So I did. There was a minor setback when applying for it, but God worked it all out and I started telling friends and family about the adventurous trip I was going to embark on. I still had on idea how God would provide all the funds, just that He would. I get a call from my grandparents one day. It was one of those casual calls, the ones where you talk about what's been going on in your life. Anyway, after hanging up, I really didn't think much about it afterwards. A few days later, they call me back and say they want to help out with the trip by giving financially. I couldn't believe it! They didn't tell me how much they were going to donate, just that they'd send a check. So I waited, and waited....and when the check finally came in the mail, it was for $1000 dollars! I was amazed with God's goodness and provision! That left $1700 for the initial cost of the trip. I already had $1500, so I only needed a couple hundred more. About two weeks later, I had a friend's birthday arrive. I decided to call them up wishing them a happy birthday and all, and we get to talking about the mission trip for a little while, since I had been keeping them updated on how things were going. We hang up and later on that night, they send me an e-mail saying they would like to donate. I found out they were willing to give $300. I was in shock. I couldn't believe they wanted to help out financially! My heart was bursting forth with praise for God's continued faithfulness! So now that the initial costs had been covered, all that was left was the extra I needed for other expenses. It totaled to around $700. God had provided thus far, and I knew He would provide the rest. And He hadn't forgotten to show me the little things either. :D I started reading the book of Esther, and in the first sentence, guess what it says?

Now it came to pass in the days of Ahasuerus, (this is Ahasuerus which reigned, from India even unto Ethiopia, over an hundred and seven and twenty provinces:) ~ Esther 1:1

As it turns out, there are only two places in the Bible where it mentions India. And the other place? In Esther too! Now that's pretty cool. A sign for sure! ;) I have also been able to meet a sweet girl who knows a family, not extremely far from where I live, who are natives to India! I would love to meet them, and I'm very excited to see what God works out there.

I continued to tell others about the trip and how God had amazingly provided. I was up late one night talking with another friend, and after mentioning my trip, she asked how much more I needed. I told her, and she said that she would like to donate her missions money for the month of September. I said, “Are you serious??” I had no idea how much she was going to send, but after I received the donation, I found out that her brother sent a check too! Together, they donated $175. And again, God showed me His awesome faithfulness in providing.

That's all the story I have so far, and I'm still in need of funds, but God has proven Himself to me time and time again. He will never fail to provide for our needs. Truly we can move mountains, little by little, inch by inch – faith the size of a mustard seed. It's not easy, but then, things that are worth it, usually aren't. So sit back and watch God work. I pray that what you've read above has blessed and encouraged you. This story isn't over yet by a long shot, and I'm excited to see what else God has in mind. May we continue to seek Him with all our hearts, souls, and minds.

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows ~Matthew 10:29-31

God Bless,
~Tiffany

Something to Ponder

2009-09-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

Put The Big Red Button on your site

A Glimpse Into My World--Hope

2009-09-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

Don't you just love the bright sun bursting its rays at you, covering you with warmth? Or maybe you enjoy a cloudy day that brings rain, and delicious mud-puddles to jump in, and maybe even a rainbow. And don't you just love bubbles? The clear crispness of them just makes you want to slip your finger through one. But then, you touch it, and POP! It makes you smile and want to do it all over again. What about the wind rushing around your body as your feet play around in the green, prickly grass. And you look out over the horizon thinking how small you are and how wonderful it feels to just slow down and watch nature. Or maybe you just love it when a little one chatters sweet baby talk, their curiosity a wonder as they discover the world around them... But you might be wondering by now who I am and why I'm asking you these questions? Well, I'm just a person out of the billions in the world. A person like you. I call myself The Nameless One, and that's how you'll know it's me. And all the questions? So I can connect to you in a familiar way. I'm not just The Nameless One who is far away and weird, I'm The Nameless One who likes things that a lot of other people, such as yourself, like too.

Another question for you...what happens when your life is going smooth and everything is good (or most everything, I mean, nobody's perfect, right?) so everything is good, great even, and then -BAM- like a bomb, your world starts to explode? What happens when darkness starts to surround you? You crash. Fall apart. Every glass piece of you starts to shatter. And those pieces don't just lay there on the ground. They poke you. Stab you. Cut you. And then, you're a wound. A walking wound. But the problem is, nobody can see it. It's hidden, and no one knows unless you show them. That's when things can get really bad. Because when you hold it all in and don't tell anyone, well then, you start wounding other people. And now you're not the one being hurt, but the one hurting others. So telling others about your hurt is good. People can help you, comfort you, encourage you, help you heal. You just have to know when it's the right time to tell someone and who's the right person. But...

What if there is no one? What if there is no one you can turn to? What then? Well, there is Someone. Someone you can always go to. He's always there. He always gives just the right amount of comfort, the right amount of encouragement, the right amount of healing, to keep you going. Living. Breathing. And amidst all the darkness and confusion, all the whys and what ifs, there's hope. Hope. Always hope. Because this Someone, this one person, one God gave His life. And His ray of light reaches into my world and shatters the darkness that shattered me. But the shattered pieces of darkness don't just lay on the ground. They disappear. And the confusion? It's replaced with a peaceful trust. All of a sudden I'm no longer a walking wound that's open, but a healing wound. That can laugh, and cry, and be joyful. And that's what happens when He's the center of your world.

Signing Out,
The Nameless One.

~NOTE~ This entry has been entered into a giveaway at (In)Courage

What If I Told You

2009-08-24T00:54:00.000-07:00

What if I told you the sky was blue and the grass was green. That bluebirds sang and children played.
What if I told you that bubbles were round and trees swayed in the breeze.

What if I told you. . .would you believe me?

And what if I told you that germs will spread and people get sick, but they get better again--most of the time.
What if I told you that snow glitters in the sun, and each one of them are different from each other.

What if told you. . .would you believe me?

What if I told you that there's such a thing as love and people use it to label many things without realizing what it truly is.
What if I told you there once was a man who laid down his life for someone--for many someones.

What if I told you. . .would you believe me?

But what if I also told you that this man was no ordinary man that he was also God, and that His sacrifice paid the debt for our sin.

Would you believe me?

Probably not. Maybe, just maybe you might...but it wouldn't matter if you didn't... because what I believe isn't based on whether or not someone believes me, but upon truth.

So go check it out, search for it, and maybe you'll come to the same conclusion. ~Luke 11:9-10

Lagging Behind

2009-07-17T01:43:00.000-07:00

Way behind. It's been like a month since my last post?? *shakes head* Way too long for me to be away from my writing...I do have quite a few ideas for posts floating around in my head, but it's been crazy finding the time to write them! SO...instead of working on those posts, I'm going to post on something random...

Staying up late...is bad for you. And why? Because it's not normal, is why. The majority of the population goes to bed at some insane hour of 8-9 o'clock at night, and then gets up at 6 in the morning?!? Well, just because most people do it, doesn't mean I should and it doesn't make it right either. Ok, on to the next argument...the Bible has so much to say on getting up early and how good it is for you. Let's take a look at some of them, shall we?

Psalm 127:2
It is vain for you to rise up early...

Proverbs 1:28
Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:

Isaiah 5:11
Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning...

Isaiah 37:36
Then the angel of the LORD went forth, and smote in the camp of the Assyrians a hundred and fourscore and five thousand: and when they arose early in the morning, behold, they were all dead corpses.

Zephaniah 3:7
I said, Surely thou wilt fear me, thou wilt receive instruction; so their dwelling should not be cut off, howsoever I punished them: but they rose early, and corrupted all their doings.

As you can see, waking up early can be detrimental to our health...and can also corrupt us. No wonder this nation is in shambles; people just aren't seeing the light (no pun intended). There are such things as nocturnal animals, why not people? And who says that getting up at 2 in the afternoon is late? For those of you who may not know, that is early in the night owl's dictionary. You just have different definitions for your "early." So for all those people out there who are night owls, kudos, for going against the flow and being unique.

P.S. Yes, it really is 3:37am...

Blogger Award

2009-06-12T17:24:00.000-07:00

My good blogger friend, Kirsten Erin, has awarded me with the Kreative Blogger Award. Thank you, Kirsten! :) I'm now supposed to write seven things I love, and then pass the award on to seven other people. So here goes:

1. I love and adore my personal friend and Saviour Jesus Christ.

2. I love His Word.

3. I love my family.

4. I love all the different people that God puts in my life.

5. I love it when God continually displays His mercy and grace.

6. I love a thing called child-like faith.

7. I love it when you can realize that the trials that are in your life are just another way of God saying "I love you" and drawing you closer to Him.

And I pass the award on to:

Erica @ The Life of Cowgirl E

Sheila @ Always Exploring

Lisa @ Lisa's Little Corner

Camille @ Think Upon
These Things

Sadie @ Maiden of Rivendell

Alyssa & Christine @ Godly Ladies in Training

Alyssa @ Among The Flowers

My Loss, My Gain: Part 2

2009-05-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

My eyes fluttered open and I jerked up in bed. I gave a sigh of relief. It was only a dream, but it had seemed so real...I shook my head and looked at the clock. I moaned. It was three in the morning and my alarm was about to go off in a few hours. I needed to get as much sleep as I possibly could; tomorrow was going to be another grinding day, but I was almost too afraid to sleep. I laid back down and thought about what I'd dreamed. I had had nightmares before, but somehow, this one seemed different. Like it related to my life in some weird way. I remembered God using dreams in the Bible to tell people things, but what did that have to do with mine? Surely he didn't use dreams anymore-that was a thing of the past. I'd been feeling so estranged from God lately anyways. I restlessly slept until 6:00 finally rolled around. Groggily, I got up and showered. I was getting breakfast and about to head out the door for work when I realized I didn't have work to go to anymore. I went back to my room and sat on the bed staring off into space. I knew I needed to go visit Mom and Dad in the hospital, but I was way too depressed. My job was everything. And my family didn't even know about my personal problems, they had too much to deal with as it was without me complaining to them. Maybe I could just overdose on medication or drive off the road. Huh, I didn't even have a working car to do that with. I had had to take the cab yesterday to get to the hospital. My mind began to swirl. I hated my life and everyone in it. I wanted things to go my way for once! Why couldn't Mom and Dad just stay healthy? Why did the company have to lay me off? Why did the stupid car have to break down when everything else was already breaking down? And why did my sister have to be so selfish?? Why, why, why??? Where was God when I needed Him most?! I banged my fists on the bed, and started screaming and crying. I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion. I was too worn out and tired to even attempt to kill myself.

I was falling. Everything around me was disappearing. I grabbed a precipice and hung with all of my might. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on forever, I needed help. But how? Where? I could see no one nor any kind of object. Just a pit of blackness with screaming coming from it and this horrible, evil laughter. And I could see the reflection of flames against the high walls. I felt completely alone and utterly helpless. There was only One Person I knew that could save me from this, but how would I know that He would answer? How could I know that He was really there? I felt totally abandoned by Him, but I had no choice. I either call His name or fall into this pit. My hands started slipping. I cried out, “God! God, please help me! I can't do this anymore!” A hand slips, and I hang my head ready to let go. Then, like a flash of lightening, two bright lights rush towards me and carry me away. The abyss slowly closes, and in its place, is the most beautiful land I've ever seen. I gaze in dumb wonder. The two beings that carried me out of the abyss are gone. I'm alone again, but it's different this time. Not far from me is a bubbling brook and a large tree with beautiful fruit on it. I walk towards the brook and see my reflection. I gasp in horror. I'm so filthy and grotesque. How did I get this way?? I sit down and lean against the tree as tears stream down my face. It was my own doing that made me so dirty. I was the one who abandoned Him. He never did; He was there every moment, waiting patiently for me. I was the one who fed my flesh and gave in to my fleshly desires. I had become so selfish and ugly. This filthiness had eaten at me until I could barely recognize myself. “Oh God, please, please forgive me! Forgive me for this thing that I've done! I have hurt not only myself, those around me. But what pierces my heart most is that I've hurt You! God, have mercy upon me!” I was weeping uncontrollably, and then He came. I could feel His presence, and I looked up. He held out His arms and I got up and ran as fast as I could go. Bursting into His arms full of love and forgiveness, we both wept. He took my hand and led me near the stream again. And, again, I looked at my reflection. But this time, it wasn't my reflection, it was His! I yelled for joy. He saw me as clean and pure as He was! I was washed with His love and forgiveness, and there was no way I was going to walk away from that again.

I woke up. I must have been asleep forever! The sun's rays had found their way into my room. The early morning birds were singing their melodious songs, and I just lay there soaking it all in. I thought about my dream and the feelings I had had last night. Maybe God did still use dreams nowadays. Similar to my dream, I had been ignoring God. I couldn't remember the last time I'd prayed or read my Bible. If I had, it was for my own selfish reasons. I was glad that life wasn't as dramatic as my dream. But then again, with everything I was going through, it sure felt like a mini-hell. Dreams sure were strange. I looked at the dusty Bible on my nightstand. I grabbed and stared at it. And then I bowed my head and cried. As I prayed that morning to the Lord, an indescribable peace covered my soul. I realized I had lost something. Myself. I wasn't mine, but God's. All these circumstances I'd been going through weren't mine, but God's. The job I had lost wasn't my job, but a job that God had given me for a little while. The car that broke wasn't mine, but God's car to do with what He wanted. My family was God's family, and He had given them to me as precious gifts. But in the process of losing myself, I had gained something so much more. The joy and peace of the living God. I could trust Him with my life and everything and everyone in my life, because of the sacrifice He made for me. The words I read that day from the Word jumped out at me:

According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ~Philippians 1:20-21

I guess that dream had more relevance on my life than I thought it did. I shook my head and smiled. The phone rang. Probably my sister wondering why I haven't made a visit to the hospital. I took a deep breath. “Lord, this day is Yours. I'm ready to start each new day with You as my guide.” I got up to go find the phone...

The Night

2009-04-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

I'm told that I need to update my blog...unfortunately, I don't have the rest of that story written, so you'll have to exert your patience even further. But with the pressure of having to write a new post, and the rest of a story that I don't have, I'm forced to post this poem. It's written a certain way, but I can't seem to format it like I want. >_< Ahh well, you'll still get the picture anyways-I hope. :D Enjoy!

Leaves rustling their fate;
Lake shimmers the late.

Owl soars low;
Eyes start to glow.

Stars in regal attire;

Moon.

Silver.

Shining down.

Flowers admire.

Everyone sleeps
Except for a few peeps.

Don't wait.
Before it's too late,
Take joy in the small things.

My Loss, My Gain

2009-03-30T01:25:00.000-07:00

This will be a different sort of post. A kind of story. I haven't finished it, so there will be more than one part; and I'm not exactly sure how it will end, so you will have to bear with me and find out too. :)

~~~

I had just about had it. Enough was enough. Why was God letting all these things happen to me? I'd just been laid off, Mom was in the hospital for pneumonia, my sister was mad at me for forgetting to call her on her birthday (and, yes, we still spat after 'growing' up), my car was broke and it was costing me an arm and a leg, and on top of all that, my friends were telling me I was stuck up and needed to get a life. Ha! I just dare them to be in my shoes for a day! Could things get any worse? The phone rang.

"Hello?"

The next thing I know, my sister's voice is telling me that Dad had been working on the house roof when he fell and broke some ribs. He was in the hospital now, and could I please come quickly because she couldn't handle this with three kids. As I hung up the phone, I sighed and resolved never to ask 'what could go wrong' again!

I was exhausted after coming home from the hospital. I went straight to bed and slept. . .

I woke up and found myself in a strange land. There were people bustling about everywhere. Each person pushing and shoving like pigs at a trough. Everyone only caring about what they had to do and where they had to go. I was shocked. How could people be like this? I mean, I did it all the time, but in public?? Oh, this was overwhelming. I decided I'd try to find some relief from this vast mass. It looked like there was a shopping plaza on down the road. Maybe I could find some coffee and a haven there. I was faced with only one problem-I didn't know how to get there. Not with this throng of people pushing about. I couldn't see a single transportation device besides my own two legs. I sighed. Could I possibly become one of them? I just couldn't bring myself so low, could I? I waited...and waited...and waited. I was getting hot, weary and frustrated. I couldn't take it anymore, this crowd was driving me insane. I looked around and saw a sliver of a spot to squeeze into. I quickly rushed in and started moving forward. Hmm, this wasn't as bad as I thought. It was sort of fun pushin' people around and going where I wanted to. Maybe I didn't want to stop at that shopping place after all. It didn't take long for me to get to the shopping center, but I was having so much fun, I almost missed it. I decided I did want to check out the place, so I managed to get away from the mesmerizing crowd long enough to grab a bench. After catching up with my breath(or my breath catching up with me; I never can tell which...), I suddenly realized what I had done. The horror of it! How could I have possibly done the very thing I despised?!? Feeling horrible, I stood up and looked around me, and the sight that my eyes beheld was breathtaking! My guilt-conscience thoughts vanished as I saw the tantalizing temptation before me--the biggest most alluring shopping place you have ever seen! One could spend years in there and still not see all of it! My whole body wanted to go in there, yet my spirit screamed, "NO!" I ignored my spiritual desires, and went right on in. I experienced the same fun and satisfying feelings that I had had when joining the pushy crowd. I tried on all the glamorous clothes, and prettied myself to my heart's content. I ate every good thing I could possibly smell; and, oh, I got everything my little heart desired. The rudeness and bustling that was in the crowd outside was here too. In fact, it seemed that half the crowd had stopped in here! I eventually got tired. Really tired. My body was sore not only from all the walking around I'd been doing, but also from all the shoving and pushing. I was sure I was going to have bruises somewhere. Then a thought flashed through my mind. I'm sure you've given not a few bruises yourself. I hung my head in shame. I got up and lethargically walked around. What was I doing here? What was my purpose? Why couldn't I just listen to the part of me that told me I shouldn't do something? I was just like all these obtrusive people. The only difference between me and them was that I hid myself behind a mask of self-righteousness instead of being blatant. Engrossed so much in my thoughts, I hadn't realized that everything around me had started getting dark and fading away. The whole world began turning into an abyss. An abyss that I started to slip and fall into. I screamed. . .

~~~

TO BE CONTINUED.

Once Upon A Time

2009-03-13T04:06:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess. She was a very beautiful princess, and everyone that knew her loved her very dearly. For she was a very sweet, kind and gentle young lady. This princess had dreams. Dreams that would take her far away from home, far away from all that she loved. But her dreams were her dreams and she wanted to fulfill them, but there was a catch. She had to get her father's permission before she could leave. So she told her father all about her dreams and how much she desired to go out and fulfill them. Her father smiled and told her to her to wait. So she waited...and waited...and waited. Days, weeks, a month passed. She was starting to get impatient and thought maybe she should remind her father about the adventure she wanted to take. On the exact day she had made the decision to remind her father, he came into her room in the early morning while she was still in bed and sat down beside her. She sat up. Her father heaved a sigh and gave her a tender look. "My dear daughter, I have mulled over it and have stayed up late into the night these past few weeks praying over your dreams, and I have decided it's best that you do not go." The princess turned her face away and tears started to stream down her cheeks. She looked back at her father and saw mixed emotions of pain and love in his eyes. He said, "I know this hurts, but you will look back over this and see what a beautiful imprint it has made in the pottery of your life." The princess loved her father dearly, and she knew that he knew what was best for her. He had never been wrong or led her astray for as long as she'd known him, and that had been her entire life. Her emotions were so confusing. She hurt, yet knew everything was going to be alright. She was confused, but knew that there was understanding in trust. Her mind was chaotic but her heart was at peace. She smiled softly at him and with tears still coursing her face, she said, "Father, your will be done." She clung to him tightly and didn't let go.

Glorifying the Lord - the wrong way?

2009-01-28T16:51:00.000-08:00

As Christians, we strive to bring honor and glory to our Lord. We want our entire lifetime to glorify Him and that lifetime starts with each new day. Whether we're spending time with friends and family, or doing mundane chores, or being studious in our studies we want God to be glorified in everything.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

So what happens when things just don't measure up to the world's standards? What happens when I get a C on a paper instead of an A? Does that mean I didn't glorify God enough or maybe there were steps I could have taken that would've have glorified Him more? Would getting an A on a paper, or doing the chores to perfection, or being an "angel" among friends and family mean that I'm glorifying God?

Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD. Psalm 105:3

Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD. Jeremiah 9:23-24

Seeking the Lord and understanding Him brings glory to our Savior. He delights in lovingkindness and righteousness. This brings glory to God. Which makes it an issue of the heart. If my heart is in the right place, then no matter what I do, I will bring glory to God. If I try getting an A just to please my parents or to show how good of a student I am, then what does that do but glorify myself? Or what if I did my chores to a tee, yet my attitude is wrong, then what kind of glory have I brought Him? Or what about when I do good things just to please others and be accepted, where's the glory that belongs to Lord in that?

Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently. 1 Peter 1:22

A pure heart. That brings Christ glory. It's not the things in and of themselves that necessarily bring glory to God, nor is it how we do them (though that can play a part), but it's what our hearts and minds are doing while we do them. There is no such thing as glorifying God the wrong way - you either are or you aren't.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

When I need You

2009-01-18T01:02:00.000-08:00

God is always there for us when we need Him. That's incredible to think about. But there's something else that's amazing to think about. God's there for us even when we "don't" need Him. When all is good in our own little world, and things are going as we'd like, God's still right by our side. It can be easy to forget, especially when things are going well. Easy to forget how great our God is, how faithful He is to us. Unlike our circumstances, emotions, and situations God never changes. He's with us through the bad AND the good. God isn't a crutch that we use whenever we've sprained an ankle or broken a foot, for He is our life-sustainer. We are to seek Him at every time in our lives, not just when things get rough. So if you're havin' a hard time, then go to the Savior and let Him bring you through with His strength and comfort; and if you're havin' good times, then go the Savior and praise Him for His goodness and mercy. Ask Him to further your boundaries and draw you closer to Him during these sweet times.

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. ~Philippians 4:4

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

Everything is His

2009-01-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

The darkness blankets the room, and only an outside, barn light penetrates the stillness, making the trees' shadows dance on the wall. A radio is softly playing some music, and a song called "Yours" comes on by Steven Curtis Chapman. The chorus makes my mind reel:

And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything

That is an amazing thought. Everything is His. The mountains that I look at every day are His. The trees, sky, birds, insects, everything. But it also means that so is every moment and part of my life. Every fiber in my being, every beat of my heart is His. I belong to Him! That's how much He loves me.

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? Psalm 8:3-4

Christmas Tag!

2008-12-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

My sweet friend, Ana, tagged me. :)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper is the best!

2. Real or fake tree? Fake

3. When do you put up a tree? I don't know, whenever we feel like it...lol

4. When do you take it down? When I get around to taking it down. :P

5. Do you like eggnog? Eww...no.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I have no idea

7. Hardest person to buy for? My dad

8. Easiest person to buy for? My younger siblings

9. Do you have a nativity scene? mmm...a miniature one :D

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? We don't do cards anymore.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmm...not sure

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? It's a Wonderful Life

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Probably after Thanksgiving

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Nope

15. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas? Chocolate :D

16. Lights on the tree? YES! Christmas isn't Christmas without them! ;)

17. Favorite Christmas song? How can I possibly answer such a thing?? I have soo many...umm I'll just write the one that's stuck in my head: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Um...no? Rudolf is all I know.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star. :)

21. Open presents on Christmas Eve or morning? Morning of course! Isn't that what Christmas day is for? :P ;)

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Too much hustle and bustle.

23. Favorite Ornament theme or color? Silver, white, and navy blue

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate! One can never get enough of it! ;)

25. Favorite Decorations? The stockings.

26. What do you want for Christmas this year? Well, since I'm doing this late and Christmas is already over, I'll just say that I got what I wanted :D

And I have to ask why this thing has 26 questions instead of 25? :P ;) Thanks for the tag, Ana!

Never Alone

2008-12-14T03:07:00.000-08:00

Alone and standing on a tall, solid rock surrounded on all sides by a raging sea.

The waves of worldly desires, the flesh, and temptations crash and roar with their cold, foamy fingers trying to get further up the rock. Clouds, dark and brooding, cackle with hailing laughter. Lightening flashes and thunder rumbles, daring me to give in. The wind pulls and tugs at me with her taunting whispers: “Come, come. I offer you riches, fame, prestige. Come, come. I will give you everything your flesh desires.”

My knees grow weak. Doubt creeps into my heart. I feel myself starting to stumble and fall. One foot starts to slip of the edge, then the other. I grab the edge of the precipice. I'm giving in!

The Elements cheer me on as I continue to fail. Knowing I don’t want to do this, but unable to stop myself, I let one hand go. On the brink of letting go with the other, I remember...He is here.

I cannot feel His nearness, but I know He is here.

The Elements start screaming louder and louder, trying to pull me completely off. But they cannot stop me now-I will not be moved.

I muster every ounce of my remaining strength, and give a loud, piercing cry through the thick, heavy air. “God of Jacob! Hear my cry, and deliver me from this torment!”

At first it seems as though nothing has happened.

The wind keeps chanting, the waves continue to roar, and the thunder still rumbles. But I smirk at them and say, “You can do nothing now! My God has heard my cries, and He will rescue me!” In an instant everything calms. A brilliant light flashes across the sky. He slashes and stabs.
The Elements are bruised and crushed by the fury of the Lord. They scream and curse, fleeing to their lairs.
Then the Lord looks at me still hanging there with my one feeble hand. He comes over and lifts me back up. He renews my strength and fills me with His peace. The bright, blue water below glistens and sparkles from His radiant glory. The sky is alive with hues of the most luminous colors, and the soft wind whispers His comforting promises.

For the time being, I no longer try to stand on my own. I rest in His arms, and let Him fight for me.

Doing God's Will, My Way

2008-12-08T01:27:00.000-08:00

There it shows its ugly face again. Self. Ugg. Will it never leave me alone?

You know, God is very particular and loving towards His children. He doesn't just say, "Here's my plan for you, do it." No, He says, "Here's my plan for and this is exactly how I want you to fulfill that plan." Of course, it's never that easy, because it isn't like God just goes along with the flow of today's day and age and tells you 'here's your hamburger, drink and fries.' No sirree, love is much more work than that. God give us that homemade bread, and homegrown vegetables, and the purified water, and that, my friends, is no easy path. There is a price to pay for loving, but just like the homemade bread and purified water, it is so much more worth loving than never to love at all. Christ loved us - He gave us His life. I love Him back, and I give Him mine. But you see, what mySelf doesn't understand, is that I have to make a sacrifice too, and that means that Self has to die. I am crucified with Christ that I might live. Still, that dern Self is so stubborn, so the battle rages on. And sometimes, it seems as though Self is making a headway on the battleground; but Christ's love swells within me and squishes puny Self until it runs and hides its face in cowardice-waiting until it can find its courage again.

But the longer it waits, the stronger I grow in Christ. Making it that much easier to defeat Self when it starts peeking its head around the corner once more. Eventually, bit by bit, battle after battle, it starts to realize that it's not really my will, and never was, even in the simple and miniscule things in life (for that's truly where Self gets the most bold). Self starts to see how it always has been, is, and always will be, God's will every single step of the way.

Truly God does love us with the greatest love that has ever been known.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. ~John 3:16

Prayers for Marriage

2008-12-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon these beautiful prayers while looking for some good quotes, and wanted to share them with you. One is written by Ruth Bell Graham, and the other written by Robert J. Morgan, and they really just make you want to do nothing but strive after the Lord, and let Him touch and be a part of every area of our lives- including marriage. ;) :)

Dear God, I pray all unafraid/As girls are wont to be
I do not want a handsome man/ But make him, Lord, like Thee.
I do not need one big and strong/ nor yet so very tall,
Nor need he be some genius/ or wealthy, Lord, at all;
But let his head be high, dear God,/ and let his eye be clear,
His shoulders straight, whate'er his fate/ whate'er his earthly sphere.
And let his face have character,/ a ruggedness of soul,
And let his whole life show, dear God,/ a singleness of goal.
And when he comes/ as he will come
With quiet eyes aglow/ I'll know, dear Lord,
That he's the man / I prayed for long ago.

~Ruth Bell Graham

I stumble, Lord, when I should think/ Of finding one for me.
But to Thy throne I come to claim/ That prudent wife from Thee.
She need not be a beauty, Lord, / The queen crowned at the fair;
Nor need she have a made-up face/ Beneath embellished hair.
But let her eyes contain Thy strength, / Her smile announce Thy grace;
Her body kept within Thy realm,/ Thy sheen upon her face.
Lord, give her hands that make each day/ An innovative art,
And grant her feet to always serve/ The progress of Thy heart.
She need not be a scholar, Lord,/ But warm like Thee, and wise;
And with Thy wit, Thy word prepared/ To teach and empathize.
And when the throbs of life shall come,/ The trials that we shall see,
May she both find in Thee her peace/ And be a strength to me.
So as I wait on Thee, dear Lord,/ And in Thy dictates lean
Make me to be your man, and hers/ And her to be my queen.

~Robert J. Morgan

Thank You!

2008-11-12T01:35:00.000-08:00

To all of my precious friends! :) I'm very blessed to have such wonderful, fun, and godly friends! You'll never know how much each of you bless me!

More Than Youll Ever Know - Watermark

Tagged Again!

2008-11-07T00:35:00.000-08:00

This time by another good and dear friend, Alyssa! :)

Ok, umm six random things about myself...oh goodness, this is going to be a hard thing. :P

1. I'm irked by half-open doors. I'm really bad about it...whenever one of my siblings comes into my room when I'm studying or something, and they don't shut the door all the way when leaving (and I mean ALL the way), they know exactly what I want them to do when they get called back. Hehe...

2. I've never been a patient in a hospital before.

3. My favorite colors are light-yellow, sage, lime, purple, and blue.

4. I will eat plain ketchup on a piece of bread.

5. I'm afraid of moths.

6. I've almost been stung by a jellyfish.

There you have it! Six completely random things about myself, and I tag...

Anika

Camille

Lisa

Kirsten

and

Katherine

Faith Like a Mustard Seed

2008-10-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

Jesus said in Matthew 17:20

. . .For verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove: and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

How many of us take this for what it really means? Do you know how small a grain of mustard seed is? Take a look at this picture. . .

I am guilty of not having even this much faith. All that He asks is that we simply believe. That's it. No more, no less. This is what it means to be like a little child. I remember when I was a small girl and my parents told me something, I believed them without question. Their word was what was. Of course, I eventually learned that they weren't infallible, but the point is, all I did was believed or trusted what they said. Why? Because my parents were a source of comfort, shelter and love; and they still are, but as I've grown more mature, Christ has become my ultimate source of comfort, shelter and love. It boggles my mind that as a child I was able to trust my parents, fallen human beings, completely. Yet I fail to put even the smallest amount of trust in the Creator of the universe! The one and only true God-the great I AM.

Lord, have mercy upon me! When God says He takes care of the sparrows and He loves me so much more than them, He's gonna take care of me. Period. There are such things as miracles. Period. When I pray, God's going to answer. Period. When God says He's going to do something, it's gonna happen. Period.

After all that, we cannot forget what verse 21 says:

Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

Faith comes by spending time with the Lord. My friends, when you say you have faith, do you really mean it or are you saying it because you know that should have it, but don't. If you don't, get on your knees and pray and pray, and if you feel led to, yes, fast too.

Let us strive to live what we believe, to take God at His word, and to put Him above ALL else.

Which SOA girl are you?

2008-10-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

In honor of our one year anniversary, the Sisters of the Armor group decided to make a quiz for y'all to enjoy! So please be my guest, and let me know which SOA girl you are! 'Tis quite fun! ;) :)

The Quiz

Fall is Here!

2008-10-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

(or maybe I should say winter. . . *blah*) Anyways, my dear, sweet friend Ana tagged me! It's a list of some of the favorite things I like about fall. So here goes. . .

1. Favorite smell? Pumpkin spice.

2. Favorite food? Turkey? :P

3. Favorite color? Burnt orange

4. Favorite drink? Apple cider

5. Favorite treat? Caramel-covered apples

6. Favorite place to go? The pumpkin patch. :D

7. Favorite candy? Hershey's chocolate bar w/ almonds. (this will always be my favorite candy, and, yes it is a candy ;), no matter what the season)

8. Favorite movie to watch? Is there such a thing as a Fall movie? Umm...seasons don't affect my choices of movies. . .

9. Favorite clothing to wear? Well, I like to stay warm, so light long-sleeves with comfortable jeans.

10. Favorite outdoor activity? Playing in the leaves.

11. Favorite football team? Ana, I cannot believe that you said that!!! Such treachery!! You are banned from Alabama! :P ;) My favorite football team is of course the beloved Broncos (even if they do give football a bad name. . .)

12. Favorite fall holiday? Thanksgiving

13. Favorite Haunted place, as in “frequently visited?” I have absolutely no idea . . . lol

14. Favorite Food at Thanksgiving Dinner? Dressing

15. Favorite Pie? Pumpkin

16. Favorite Fall Hobby? I don't categorize my hobbies by seasons either. . .unless you consider drinking hot-chocolate a hobby.

17. Favorite Fall Memory? My uncle used to farm a lot of cotton and peanuts, and one fall, we went to visit at harvest time. I loved playing in the cotton bins and making tunnels in the woolly, scratchy cotton. And there was also a peanut bin filled with -guess what?- thousands of peanuts. . .oh, those peanuts were the best-tasting peanuts ever!! We'd take a paper bag of 'em to my great-grandmother and she'd boil them for us. . .*delicious*

18. Favorite Fall Sight? The brightly colored trees.

19. Overall Favorite thing about Fall? How God just takes His multi-colored paintbrush and splotches the land with beautiful colors.

20. Overall Favorite Season? Mmm, I think either spring or fall or winter or summer. . .I just can't decide. :P

"I love you"

2008-10-18T01:59:00.000-07:00

Words cannot describe how I feel, yet I cannot keep it contained inside a heart that will burst if something is not said . . .

I crush the nails into His hands, and with every piercing blow He whispers,

"I love you."

Crush

"I love you."

Crush

"I love you."

Crush

"I love you."

But my ears are deafened with the resounding crack of nail against hammer. I finish and arrogantly stand up taking pride in my work. The cross on which He is lain is stood up and He limply hangs there. I then smile and mock this 'King of the Jews'. "Ha! Pretender, are you so weak that you cannot save your own life? Who are you when you do all these miracles yet. . ."

Those eyes. Those penetrating eyes. They weren't full of anger, or fear, or confusion. No, they were filled with love and pity.

Pity? Love? I looked down at my hands covered with blood. I looked back up at Him.

Pity? Love??? No, no!! He cannot possibly love me! After all I have done?! I fall to my knees and cry uncontrollably. What have I done??

It has been years since that day, but I still stumble and fall.

I fall.

"I love you."

I fail.

"I love you."

I stumble.

"I love you."

This time, there is no nail pounding to drown out His whispers. Tears flow from my eyes as He picks me back up.

This is my God.

Admist the Confusion

2008-10-10T03:34:00.000-07:00

Why am I doing this?

For God's glory.

Then what is there to stress about?

Nothing. Yet I still have stress.

What is there to be afraid of?

Nothing! Yet I'm still afraid.

I'm doing this for God's glory. Doesn't that mean everything is going to work out?

Yes, but not the way I expect or want it to.

I'm doing this for God's glory. Doesn't that mean there won't be any trials?

No. Trails purify me and make me strong-glorifying Him all the more.

What matters above all else?

God and serving Him.

Stress
Fear
God

Why does God love me?

I don't know.

Choices
Attitudes
How I live

But I do know that He loves me, and that's all I need to know. He loves me enough to take away my stress and fear. And I have the choice to give them to Him - humbly bowing before Him and letting Him live through me.

Reminiscing Summer Vacation: Part 2

2008-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

After making sure you all had enough time to wonder about what happened, here's part 2. ;)

My friend had called saying she had been in an accident. She was doing fine, but the car was totaled. Though I was glad she wasn't hurt, my selfish, little self was angry, grumpy, and getting a bad attitude that was turning into a whirlwind. I decided I had to get away from everything and go spend some time with the Lord. I went to a nearby park and sat down on a bench that was surrounded by fresh-smelling evergreen pines, and woodsy shrubs. With tears streaming down my face, I cried out to God... "Lord, I know that you knew all of this was going to happen, and I know that you have a purpose and reason for this. So please change my heart and my attitude." And I sat there in the silence...listening to the nature around me and God working on my heart. When I got up from that bench, peace was abounding in my soul, and dare I say, even splashes of joy. With the understanding that knowing Christ doesn't magically change your situations, but it sure does make them a whole lot easier to endure.

The second thing I "learned" (it was more of a realization than a lesson) was the obsession of worldly things and loves by the teens that I was around. It wasn't that it was surprising, but rather realizing how saddening the reality of such obsessions are. And seeing professing Christians do it, is that much more saddening. I had only one cousin who was on fire for the Lord and was really seeking to do His will. I cannot tell you how blessedly wonderful it was to be able to talk with him about the Lord, and just having that common bond of being in a relationship with Christ. You might think me naive in such a realization. I mean -duh- of course people, especially non-Christians, are going to have those kind of obsessions! But being at home most of the time, and being sheltered from that kind of company, my knowledge of being obsessed with the world seemed more like ideas and thoughts rather than fact. Sort of like head knowledge rather than heart knowledge, ya know? So I came to see the reality of what I believed to be true, and unfortunately, it was very saddening.

Our second week in Mississippi, we went to go visit Mom's side of the family (the first week was Dad's). We went bowling and got to experience a behind-the-scenes-look at the bowling ally. It was neat seeing where your ball disappears to and what happens to the bowling pins when they get knocked down. I also got to feed and pet a semi-tame squirrel-it's pretty awesome seeing God's nature up close! Dad and Mom also took us to the places where they went to college, got married, and went on their honeymoon. It was so cool to see it all and listen to them rehash old, fun-loving memories. They told their recollections so well, that it felt like their memories had become a part of your own. Can there be such a thing as hand-me-down memories? ;)

I had a very incredible encounter with the Lord that second week. I had been reading some books that my Meemaw kept about the rapture, and it made me aware of how short our time is and how precious souls are. It started to get me into a depressing mood, and entry from my journal will tell you why: (Note: You have to understand that I had a bunch of different emotions and feelings welling up inside of me, so some things might not make complete sense.)

I so don't deserve God's love for me! I feel so utterly helpless and useless. The Bible says to let your light shine, but how do I know it's shining??? Am I being transparent in Christ? When people look at me do the see someone who's different of just another person in this deary world? Does not telling every single person I meet about His love mean that I'm not passionate about Christ? How can God use someone like me for the ministry? I'm 18-years old and I have yet to lead one person to Christ! Why does God want to use me?? Isn't there somebody else? I don't know what to do, but to put my trust in Him! I found this verse the other day while reading the Word, and it makes me wonder why I even bother asking such questions. The verse is found in Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord they God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

God was talking to Joshua before he went to conquer the promise land, but those same words spoken so long ago, still hold true for us today. God is still with me, and He will NEVER leave or forsake me. How can I ever doubt Him? So unworthy yet being made qualified for the calling.

I love you Lord,

Tiffany

I was alone in our trailer, and after writing that, I just started praising God, and one of the most beautiful things happened. I could actually feel the Lord's presence. He was right there in front of me enveloping me in His spirit. Oh, I could've stayed there forever. I don't understand how people can deny His existence...

So after the second week, we headed back home and, on the way, stopped in Oklahoma to a visit a friend of Mom's. The only glitch when traveling home was that we didn't have any A/C in the bus, so we basically melted for two days. But we survived and arrived safely at home sweet home. Such bliss to be back in familiar surroundings again...ahhh...if that's how it feels to be home here on earth, what will arriving in heaven be like? :)

And there you have it folks! Summer vacation. Wow. I can't believe how quickly it flew by.

Oh, and a note of warning (in case you haven't already noticed). I'll be very sporadic in my posting for awhile. I did start college this year so it's keepin' me on my toes. But I am enjoying my classes nonetheless (most of them anyways ;)). Your prayers would be appreciated since I tend to let little things get in my way instead of looking at God's big picture. How quickly I forget I'm His. Anywho, thank you all so much my dear and faithful readers! One of these days (I hope) I'll get back to blogging more regularly! :)

Keep strong in the faith!

Pressing On,
Tiffany

Reminiscing Summer Vacation: Part I

2008-09-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I finally get around to telling y'all about our trip to Mississippi! (Haha...how soon is soon?) Anywho, where to start. . .how about sharing with you some entries from my journal and filling in the rest as much as I can. :)

After leaving the house and stopping in Salina, Kansas to spend the night, we headed back on the road for the last 12 hours of our journey. We had driven for a few hours when Dad took the wrong exit nearly crashing in the process! It's scary waking up to an 18-wheeler blowin' its horn at ya! Dad was pretty mad at himself for taking a "detour," but we found out, thankfully, that we weren't too far off the beaten path. We stopped for a break at a *rural* gas station (I mean, it looks like it's been handmade or somethin'!). So we're waiting on Dad to finish filling the tank, he gets back in the bus, and guess what? The bus is stuck right in front of the pumps. Yep. We're stuck in hot, sticky Oklahoma, and we're not being able to find a single place open for someone to fix the bus. We kids are outside waiting on Mom and Dad (who are inside the gas station trying to get some help), and I look at the saying we have on the front of the bus: "With God and puppies, we can lick anything!" Ha, living what you believe sure is hard. It certainly didn't feel like we were "likin'" anything...but God gave me the strength to praise Him and have a good attitude about things. Sining Lincoln Brewster's song "Today Is The Day" helped some. :) Well, we finally did find a guy who was on call 24/7 and wasn't too far from the gas station-praise God! Otherwise, we would've had to spend the night there, which we didn't want to do! It took about five hours, but we survived what with the car part place having an AC building with a little entertainment area for the kids. The Lord is just plain amazing! If we hadn't taken that detour, we would've been stuck on the highway with no means of being able to contact anyone or getting anywhere. God is good all the time; all the time God is good!

Signing Out-
Tiff

We went on to arrive at my grandmother's house at 3am. By the way, scaring people at three in the morning is totally fun! *wink* So after a day at her house, we take our trailer to a lake that's about 30 minutes from where Grandmother lives. It was fun going tubing, water skiing, swimming, cooking s'mores, playing volleyball, getting sunburnt...ok, so maybe the sunburnt part wasn't too fun, but we had a good time. Oh, and we also played a game that was new to me called disk golf. (Google it; it was pretty fun-competitive too ;))

There were two things I learned here. I have a very special friend of mine who lives in Tennessee, and her and I had decided that we would meet-up since I was finally on the "other side of the Mississippi" as she put it. We were both very much looking forward to it! She was going to drive down on the 4th of July, and I was just counting down the days until she could come. So the day for her to arrive finally comes and I am so excited!! And then, I get this call. . .

And that's where I leave you for now, folks! Thanks for being so patient with me! Part 2 is next! :)

A Dream

2008-09-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm still alive and breathing in this world! (And I know there's a certain post that I should write about! I haven't forgotten. ;)) For now here's a poem called...

A Dream

A dream, a dream, what is a dream?

A fable? A fairytale far, far away?

A vision that’s there, but always beyond your grasp.

You snatch and clasp, but you never can reach it;

Until all you do is dream about your dream.

‘But what if it’s something more - Divine Inspiration.

You try and fail, and fail, and fail.

Two steps forward, three steps back.

Maybe my dream really is a fairytale.

What if I give up? What then?

No one will care, please let me be!

No.

I will not give up! True failure indeed!

I will press toward the mark ‘till the day that I die.

Where would I be if Christ had given up on me?

My dream comes from God.

How can He make the impossible come true?

Somehow He does it right before my eyes.

Before I know it, my dream is real!

Tears

Joy

Laughter

A dream, a dream, what is a dream?

Believing.

What Life Would be Like

2008-08-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

I wish I was more of a man.
Have you ever felt that way?
And if I had to tell you the truth,
I'm afraid I'd have to say
That after all I've done and failed to do
I feel like less than I was meant to be.

And what if I could fix myself?
Maybe then I could get free.
I could try to be somebody else
Who's much better off than me.
But I need to remember this
That its when I'm at my weakest I can clearly see

(CHORUS)
He made the lame walk, and the dumb talk
And He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time,
yet He know our deepest desperate need.
And the world waits, while His heart aches,
To realize the dream.
I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me....Yeah.

What if you could see yourself
through another pair of eyes?
And what if you could hear the truth,
instead of old familiar lies?
And what if you could feel inside
The power of the Hand that made the universe
You'd realize.....

CHORUS

All our hearts they burn within us.
All our lives we've longed for more.
So let us lay our lives before
The One who gave His life for us.

CHORUS

ending:
Let Him live through you and me...yeah.

Watch Video:

What Life Would Be Like (Big Daddy Weave)

Video Code provided by MusicRemedy.Com

Happy Birthday!

2008-08-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Camille,

You are:

Caring

Amazing

Merciful

Inkler (meaning you're a writer...hehe you know how you love those made-up words! ;))

Loving

Loyal

Endearing

Wow, seventeen - I can't believe it! I hope your 17th year will be filled with precious moments and exciting adventures! May God continually bless you for your faithfulness to Him! I love you, girl!

Randomness

2008-07-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

I feel like my life is going crazy and being turned upside-down...

I can't believe I'm filling out an application for my first job

I'm driving into town tomorrow by myself to meet some Rebelutionary gals while trying to figure out the perplexities of knitting... *sighs*

I'm trying to find out whether or not I'll be going to Africa in November for a month

I'm also trying to find out if I'll be going to the local community college

Getting ready to go to the Philippines next year (one of my books that I'm supposed to read before going came in from the library today-yay!!)

Trying to figure out what to write for the answers on the application for the school

And trying to trust God in the middle of it all!

Lord, help me to slow down and realize that Your love is the important.
Give me such a relentless passion for You that nothing gets in the way of doing Your will...

Not my selfishness.

Not my bad attitudes.

Not my fears.

Not my doubts.

Not my pride.

Nothing, Lord. Empty my life of me until You are all that's left. 'Till my life is no longer mine, but Yours. My transparency is Your window... Amen

Encouragement anyone??

P.S. I'm sorry I haven't posted about the trip yet. I will soon!

Balance

2008-07-20T21:19:00.000-07:00

After starting to read the Bible daily, guess what happened? Yep, that's right, I actually missed a few days! Grr...what does that mean? Does it mean I've failed the Christian life? Does it mean I've done something wrong? Does it mean I'm not putting Christ before all else and not loving Him the way I should? These questions swirled in my head, as I realized that by the end of the day, I hadn't read my Bible. Oh, I felt so guilty! The reason for missing my reading wasn't because of a I-just-didn't-feel-like-reading-the-Word-today kind of attitude, but just life itself. As the days wore on, I continued to be bothered by all the questions and guilt until, one day, I read an entry on Preston's blog where he usually posts entire chapters of Scripture. The one he just "happened" to post that particular day was Galatians 5, which talks of no longer being under the law because of the freedom we have in Christ. Verse 14 is what really stood out to me:

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

That's when it struck me. Was reading my Bible every single day a requirement? Was I making it a "law" that shouldn't be there? That verse was telling me that all that was required of me was to love my neighbor as I would love myself. I was starting to realize that there was no need for me to feel guilty! I had started to look at reading the Bible daily as something I had to do if I was going to live the Christian life the right way, when all that was (and is) required of me was a selfless love.

Does this new realization now give me an excuse not read the Bible everyday? No! For that is one of the ways we walk and grow spiritually in the Lord. I will continue to strive to read the Word daily, but I will not let it become a legalistic burden.

Talk about fears becoming a reality, eh? :) It's amazing how wonderful God is...hmm, sounds like some good material for another post. ;)

Tagged!

2008-07-17T18:21:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting trip! Learned lessons and had fun. I'll post more on that later, but for right now, a dear friend of mine, Anika Q, tagged me on her blog while I was gone. So in honor of her tag, here goes...

Two names I go by

Well, ahem...is it that obvious?

Tiffany & Tiff (My friends are very creative, are they not? :D)

Two things I am wearing right now

What kind of question is this?? Umm, a red shirt and jeans. (hehe...you can tell I like my blog theme.)

Two of my favorite things to do

Mud-sliding and reading.

Two things you want very badly at the moment

I want to talk with someone...and...to finish Systematic Theology ( I need help, girls! Would any of you be available to help me catch up?)

Two pets you had/have

Princess (had) and other than that, I've never really had or have any others. Not much of a pet person.

Two things you did yesterday

Rode in a hot, sticky bus for 5 hours, and gave the younger ones a bath after getting home.

Two things you ate yesterday

Uhh...you don't want to know what I ate yesterday! Oh, you do? Really, truly do? Nah...I just can't bring myself to say it... *whispers* PB&J sandwich and potato chips!

Two people you last talked to

Erica and Sadie. :D (If you consider typing talking :P)

Two things you're doing tomorrow

Finishing up the unpacking and looking into what I'm going to do for school this year...

Two longest car rides

Hehe, from Colorado to Mississippi. ;) (and yes, I've done it twice!)

Two favorite holidays

Christmas and Thanksgiving

Two favorite beverages

Hmm...I'm stuck between water, sweet tea, and Sonic's strawberry drink! Yum, yum!

I tag:

Erica

Lydia

Sadie

Emily

Saying Good-bye & Prayer Requests

2008-06-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving the blogging world forever...it's just too much for me, and I can't keep up with it. It's also bogging me down from doing more important things. I really have enjoyed doing it for the short time I've been here, though, and you all have been an encouragement to me. Hope y'all have been blessed! Have fun without me! Bye!

Hehe...did I scare ya? :P I am leaving for a three week vacation on the 28th, so in case you think I've fallen off the face of the earth, don't worry - I'll be back! :) I do have a couple of prayer requests for when I'm gone, though:

Pray that we'll have a safe trip- on the way there and back.
Pray that we can be a witness and blessing to those around us.
Please pray that I will continue to read the Word and pray - it's going to be 10 times harder! Just because I'm on vacation physically, doesn't mean I take "vacations" spiritually!
That we have a fun time and don't get too stressed out about things.

Thanks so much!

P.S. In case you're wondering, we'll be in Mississippi. The good 'ole South! :)

Fear...of the Bible?

2008-06-13T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well, yes and no. I wasn't afraid of the Bible itself or even just reading it. But what I was afraid of was reading it over and over and over again. After having finished reading it through once, it scared me to start reading it multiple times. Wouldn't it become dry and boring? How could I possibly learn something new every single time I read it? I couldn't even imagine reading my most favorite book like that! Yes, I might could do it for awhile, but how droll it would eventually get! But then I realized-I'm talking about the Word of God here! The living, life-changing, inspired words of the living God! What was I thinking?! This was no ordinary book! Whew, some major battles there! But that wasn't the only reason why I was afraid of reading the Bible on a daily basis. Fear of legalism was in my heart as well. I was afraid of getting so caught up in just making sure that I read the Bible, that I wouldn't be growing or learning from the Word like I should be.

For a long while I would read it here and there, but never regularly. Well, if you know anything about God, it's that He doesn't leave us drowning in our fears. He started working in my heart and convicting me that I should start a daily Bible reading. And so I have. He has used some very dear friends to keep me accountable, and He's given me the strength to keep pressing on. I've been finding that instead of the Word becoming dry, it has come more alive. (Not that I don't think that there are still parts of the Bible that seem boring...*wink*...but I'm learning new things that I hadn't recognized from the first time around. And I figure I'll still be learning new things when I get to the 100th time around. ;)) And the legalism? I don't worry about it a bit anymore. There hasn't a day yet gone by where God hasn't shown me a little bit more of Him. So I challenge you. Go out and start those bold readings!

The more you read the Bible, the more you love it; the more you love it, the more you read it. Read the Bible as if God were speaking to you. He is!

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. ~2 Timothy 3:16

My Thoughts Travel a Jeweled Path

2008-06-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine wrote this beautiful poem, and I thought it was just too
wonderful to keep to myself! :) I hope you're blessed by it as much as I was!

"My Thoughts Travel a Jeweled Path"
by Allison Kirschbaum

In every mind there runs a road
New-laid when we were born
And through our lives
Each step is paved
With hoarded paving-stones

The fine silt of the roadbed
Is an impressionable mind
And every stone that's laid in it
Is one of just two kinds

There's plain, smooth stones of common make
Of the dullest grays and browns
The thoughts of mediocrity
That chain us to the ground

"Bubble, Bubble, Toil, and Trouble"
Or so the saying goes
And that's all the good you'll ever get
With cheap, plain paving-stones

But the second kind, now that's the stuff
Great men's thoughts walk upon
On the road to Eden's sunset glory,
And the shining-white Zion

They're bright, and crisp, and clear, and pure,
Not common stones, but gems
And it is my hope for every youth
They would pave their minds with them!

The blue sapphires are deep and pure,
Heavy and clear as dew,
They represent the noble thoughts,
The strongest ones, and Truth

And the padparadsha orange ones,
They reflect your fire inside,
Your will, your guts, your confidence,
Your passion, courage, drive!

The crisp, sharp green of Hessonite
Reminds you you're a flower
Planted deep inside God's grace,
And nourished by His power

Good grace and judgment are the lot
Of stolid smoky quartz
Though plain, it tempers other stones
With calmness by the quart!

Ruby Zoisite's creativity,
Those divine sparks inside!
It's zany, bubbling over, vivid!
A thing not meant to hide!

With Direction in its right hand,
And Purpose in its left,
Pietersite is a stone of Choice,
Of Foresight it's not bereft!

Though dull to some, to others plain,
Bloodstone is the rash mind's bane,
A stone of caution, but courage too,
Its subtlety means a safe way through

Amber is the softest stone,
It calls only a tender heart "home",
With time to grow and time to spare,
It frees minds from the world's harsh cares

These are the stones that pave the way
Of those who wish for a glory day
But if you're for God, there's one gem more
Crystal, to open your heart's thick door
It needs to be cared for,
Given time and love,
But it's your only link to your Father above

Though there's not many stones in your road yet, my dear,
I hope there's inspiration for the rest of them here
How I enjoy watching your road's joyful progress,
But when all clothed in stones, how will it be dressed?
In the commonest garb of the slaves and the serfs,
Or jewels, like the paths of God's people on Earth?

Doing Hard Things: Letting Christ Take Control

2008-06-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a certain friend, I now have a new theme!! Don't worry, it's the same blog just a different layout! ;) How do y'all like it?

Anyways, to the topic at hand. The Denver Rebelution conference was really incredible, of course! :) I was very much encouraged and uplifted! One of the things I have been learning and which was confirmed at the conference, was how we should be consumed with God. It is the basis of all hard things, and if you're not giving Christ your all and letting Him lead you, then doing hard things can be pretty useless. So just how hard is letting God take control be? I'm a Christian! Can't be that hard- easy as 1, 2, 3, right? Isn't believing that Christ died for my sins, rose from the grave in three days, and is coming back again enough? Sorry to break the news to you, but that's only the half of it! Believing is the first step, living it, is the next. Ok, no problem, I can do that. I'm not going to get a grumpy attitude when things aren't going my way. Next thing you know, that grumpy attitude is looming over my head, and I just can't seem to get it to go away! I'm going to read my Bible every single day. I find that the precious time I do take to read it is about as good as wasted, since I read one or two quick verses (occasionally!) and then convince myself that that was good enough! What's going on here? I thought I was a new creature in Christ. I think many times we will forget that even when living the Christian life, we need His help! I have to remind myself, "Stop trying to do it on your own, and start asking the Lord to help you!" And, wow, have I been amazed at what God can do, if we only let Him! Of course, I will never be perfect, and it will continually be a constant, hard battle, because my nature wants to rebel against all that is righteous. I think that's one of the reasons why the motto "Do Hard Things" has such an appeal to me- because it helps give me the incentive to rebel against my rebellious, sinful nature.

If you're having a problem, get on your knees and pray. Right now. If you want advice or answers to problems with life, get yourself into the Word of God. Start letting Him take the wheel! Nothing is more hard, glorious, or rewarding! Doing hard things starts with growing in your relationship with Christ, and stretching your boundaries to grow your character. The rest really is easy as 1, 2, 3. :)

...I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. Philippians 3:9

Three Little Nuggets

2008-05-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

by Tiffany B.

The air was crisp, and the sun had started setting. The rolling hills were soaking in as much sun as they possibly could before the last rays melted into the sky. Trees swayed lazily in the light wind, and flowers got ready for their midnight endeavors. But deep in the ground- unseen and unheard- lay three silver nuggets. Friends these nuggets were. They talked, and joked, had fun, and dreamed. One of their favorite subjects was talking of what they would someday become once they got out of this miserable, dark, and dirty place. The first nugget said, “I will be the sword of a mighty warrior! I will fight great battles and be famous for my many victories.” The second one said, “And I will be a beautiful chalice, and serve many kings and nobles.” The third one moped a bit. He didn’t exactly know what he was going to be. All he said was, “I don’t know what I want.” Secretly, He did know that he wanted it to be something great and daring like the first one, but at the same time, serving a sort of king like the second. But he was always too shy or embarrassed to voice his thoughts.

One day, the nuggets were chatting away, when some miners came along... The first nugget was found. He was carried away and made into a sword for a brave warrior. They fought hard and long together and won many battles. Soon, the warrior became one of the mightiest and bravest in the land, and all with the help of his faithful sword. The second silver nugget was discovered. He was taken and crafted into a sturdy and beautifully engraved chalice. He made his way to the king’s courts and became the king’s most favorite cup from which to drink; saved for the most pompous occasions. But the third silver nugget got left. He had heard about the others’ successes, and he began to wish that he could just disappear and somehow fade away into the darkness. But this little nugget’s life wasn’t over yet. He finally was found, and taken away to a little smith shop where he was divided into nails. It only made him more miserable. To be treated in this way? Where is my fame? Who am I serving? He wished the miners would have just left him in the ground.

As the years went on, the sword got bent and battered, and the chalice got tarnished and worn. They eventually moved on to lesser jobs. The sword was given to a soldier who had no respect for the blade and treated it like rabble. It had grown bitter and angry at life. He had loved and reveled in what he had been. To be treated in this way was a curse! The soldier that carried him was called on duty one night with a few others. Their mission was to arrest a certain man for some sort of treason. If there was anything the sword had learned in his lifetime, it was the knack for paying close attention to his master’s words. He had heard that someone had betrayed the accused, and was now leading the soldiers to the place for the arresting. The sign that would indicate which one was guilty? A kiss. The sword watched as the betrayer walked up and kissed the guilty one. There were others surrounding him, and one of the men tried brandishing a sword. In anger the soldier’s sword struck back and cut off the offender’s ear. That’s when the sword saw something that he had never before seen in his life. The guilty one healed the wounded man and said, “Put your swords away. For those who draw their swords die by the sword.” The sword was stunned and ashamed at the same time. He was beginning to wish he wasn’t a sword.

The chalice was sold at a market and taken to a merchants home. His life was quiet and peaceful now. In fact, he almost enjoyed being away from all the parties and glamor. He had learned a few things in life, and one of them was trying to be content. One day, he woke up in the cupboard with the house in a flurry. The mistress and her daughters were scampering and rushing about to do this and that. What is all this racket?, thought the chalice. When evening came, he was taken out of the cupboard and placed on a table covered with a white tablecloth that filled the entire room. After a few minutes, thirteen men came in and sat down at the table. One of the men took a piece of bread and said, “This is my body, broken for you.” Then when they were through eating, he took the chalice and said, “This is my blood, poured out for you” The chalice didn’t understand what was happening, but he knew enough that whatever this man was doing, it was something special. So the chalice decided to just enjoy the most he could of it.

And the nails? Well, they sat there in the shop. Doing nothing all those years. Other nails were used to make great ships, useful household items, and beautiful furniture. If only the third nugget’s nails could be used for something- anything! He sighed and trembled. Life was one big failure to him. Then there came a day when the streets were filled with shouting, screaming people. Someone came into the shop and grabbed the box of nails the third nugget was in! He held his breath. Was this the day he would be used? What for? Why were all these people shouting? When he was taken outside, he heard what they were saying more clearly, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” The nails started to tremble. Was that what his life was lived for? To kill someone? Why did it have to end like this?! The nails were brought to a cross where a battered and torn man lay. One by one the hammer pushed the nails into the skin tearing the flesh and bones. With every agonizing cry, the nails winced. The cross was put up, and the crowds started mocking the man that the nails held. “If you are King of the Jews, why don’t you save yourself?”, they taunted. At last, the man said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” At that moment, the nails finally realized that their job was not in vain. This man that they held was the Savior of the world. No greater King could be served, and nothing could be more honorable than doing the Father’s will.

One Little Rebelutionary

2008-05-06T18:58:00.000-07:00

*Dedicated to Rebelutionaries around the world who are faithful in the little things*

One little Rebleutionary, in a corner of earth,
Worked and toiled with “Do Hard Things” as her girth.

Doing things she didn’t necessarily like.
She watched her friends as they went on their hikes.

Using their gifts as they worked for the Lord.
Seeing the fruits of the works they labored for.

But this one little Rebelutionary, got easily discouraged.
Because the fruit of her works were not so visibly discovered.

She would whine and complain.
Not realizing the value of the work mundane.

She sat in her room praying a pleading prayer.
When she suddenly realized that Someone did care.

The work that she did was not in vain.
For she was beginning to understand, that the Lamb that was slain,
Did not see her work somewhat less than the others.

The comfort she gave;
The prayers that she prayed.

The little things that didn’t seem much to her,
All were a great deal to the Lord that she served.

When the one little Rebelutionary had realized all this,
She stopped her complaining, and found her work bliss.

Destiny

2008-05-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

It has a certain ring to it, that word. Filled with hope, excitement, and maybe a bit of apprehension. It's almost, dare I say, an enchanted word.

Sometimes I'll get discouraged about the future. Yes, the Lord has given me my dreams (or should I say His dreams ;)), but sometimes I feel like they'll never happen. It feels like other things keep getting in the way and keep messing everything up. That's when I think, Why do You give me these dreams, God? It seems that they will never come true!

What's amazing is that even in my lack of faith, God will comfort and encourage me from His Word. I've said it before, but I'll say it again - He is so awesome!

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. ~Psalm 24:14, NLT

You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. ~Psalm 73:24, NLT

KOA

2008-04-23T11:36:00.001-07:00

My Dad listens to a local radio station called KOA 850 when going to and from work. He listens to it mainly because of the frequent traffic reports, but there's a show on there called "The Ride Home" that he listens to now and then.

Dad had to go on a business trip to California last week, and Mom decided to come along and make it a 20th anniversary trip. They weren't quite alone since they had to take Gideon with them. ;) Anyways, on the flight back, they sat next to a lady, Louis, who was also from Colorado and had spent the week in California. She was telling them how she had lived in California all her life, and had only been living in CO for about 6 years. She got to talkin' about how people recognized and knew her when she moved out here, and Mom was like, "How did people know you??" She said that she was a radio broadcaster. And then Dad's like, "Which radio station do you broadcast?" And guess what? She broadcasts on KOA!! My dad like totally freaked out; he couldn't believe it! So the next day, Dad gets this call from one of his co-workers, and the guy's like, "Who did you sit next to on the plane?" He said that Louis was talking about a couple with 10 kids, and goats, and all that. As soon as he heard that, he knew it was Dad. :)

So...I thought it was pretty neat that we were mentioned on the radio! But I won't leave you without a link to the broadcast!!! Here it is! Just listen to the first 10 minutes or so. :) Enjoy!

A Personal God

2008-04-18T17:01:00.001-07:00

God is so incredibly awesome! He isn't like the Greek god Poseidon or the Roman god Jupiter. Nor is He like like a more modern-day god such as Buddha or the prophet Muhammad. No, the one true God is nothing like them! He is personal. And what does that mean? It means that I can actually have a relationship with Him! Can you believe it?!? The only God in the world that you can have that with! Wow. Such a relationship is almost impossible to describe! Think of your BEST friend...one who knows almost everything about you and with whom you share your innermost thoughts and feelings...now think of that relationship being 10 times greater! That's what is like to be friends with God! I tell Him my doubts, fears, joys, sorrows, strengths, and weaknesses - everything. And He never let's me down. He's never too busy to give a "listening ear" or a "helping hand." It's true that I can't see Him, and you may wonder how I could have such relationship with Someone who is invisible. I admit, I don't fully understand it myself. But, somehow, He makes His presence known in a way that is too inexplicable to describe. He says to be still and know that He is God.(Psalm 46:10) When you're looking for Him, you will find Him.

But lest you think that this is a one-sided relationship, let me tell you a bit about what God does. When I'm done talking to Him, and I actually listen for a change, He will start speaking to me in different forms and ways. Maybe it's a Bible verse, something a friend says, an answer to a specific prayer, or just something altogether out-of-the-blue type of thing. He will test and push me to the limits. There is never a dull moment with God! He takes you on the most adventurous roller coaster ride of your life! (with a few stops here and there ;)) He will chastise me when I need it, and yet loves me like nobody else in the world. He is so great and mighty. He can make something happen with a whisper, and it’s done. Yet, He knows every inch of my heart and soul and understands my feelings. He tells me to come boldly unto His throne, that I may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:16) How can any other god compare?

But I also don't want you to think that I have a picture perfect life, and things always go my way. Haha...that would be the overstatement of the year! There are so many times I get mad at God, so many times I ask Him, "Why are You dong this??" and "What do You think You're doing?!?" And, yes, there are even times when I feel that God is against me. But the funny thing is, God just picks me up, ignoring my kicking and screaming, and carries me in His arms along the beaten path until I finally realize that He's been by my side every step of the way. My despairing cries start to calm, and the Lord puts me down and holds His outstretched hands towards me. I look up, and I start to smile and accept what God has put in my path.

Outrageously Adorable

2008-04-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

I’m sure most of you have seen babies. They’re cute, sweet, and cuddly, right? But have you ever held them and just gazed at them and really appreciated what precious gifts from the Lord they are? Well, in case you haven’t, let me see if I can paint a picture of my five-month-old baby brother, Gideon.

He has the cutest, little face with fat, round cheeks. Bright blue, curious eyes with beautiful (yes, I said beautiful) long lashes. A button, little nose, and a mouth that when it frowns you just want grab him up and comfort him in your arms; and when it smiles, with his cute stub of a tooth sticking up, you just want to gobble him up! He has light, soft, wispy hair that blows this-a-way and that-a-way when you blow on it. And his hands, oh, his hands can fit right in the palm of mine. He’ll usually bunch them up into a cute, little fist or sometimes, he’ll wrap a tiny finger around one of mine and hold on for dear life. He has the most infectious laugh and the most heart-breaking cry. And watching him fall asleep is like watching a little bit of heaven. He’ll start to slowly open and close his blue eyes until he gets into a deep enough sleep to keep ‘em closed.

What’s really neat to think about is that Christ was once a baby. When I’m holding Gideon in my arms and putting him to sleep, I think about the most precious gift of all born so long ago. And it makes me wonder what He looked like. I sure hope God keeps a scrapbook album!

Homeschoolers Rock!!

2008-04-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

Click here to watch the homeschooling video. :D

Big God - Small Things

2008-04-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

I was reading Erica's post, who lives in Nebraska, about the postcard she sent to Lisa, who lives in Australia. :)

Erica was talking about how God works in the small things. Little things that we don't think twice about being a blessing to someone; but God uses them in the most amazing ways. Just a little note or card, a smile, or a kind word. All of those things could bless someone's socks off!! And, who knows, maybe God will use those little things to give hope and new meaning to someone's life. I think when we get to heaven, we're going to be astonished by how many people were affected by the little things we did that we thought were nothing. Here's a story I've written called Little Things that I think goes well with this topic:

I knelt in my room praying out loud.

"Oh, God, why does it seem I do so little for you? I know some who are able to give so much and do so many things for others, and are respected by many. But I, Lord, am only able to help a few and give very little. How can I be as useful as them?"

Then I heard a voice call my name. My eyes searched the room, but I could see nothing.

The voice said, "Have you so little faith?"

I suddenly realized it was God.

"But Lord...."

"Let me show you one of the persons you have helped and of the little you gave him."

An image flashed before my eyes, and I saw a friend who had lost both his parents a few weeks ago; crying silently and holding a card I had sent him. It told how sorry I was for his loss and gave him some comforting words and Bible verses. He stood there reading it over and over again- like it was the only possession he had. He then got down on his knees and started thanking and praising God for a friend like me. Tears came to my eyes. "Lord, I had no idea that it would mean so much to him."

"Go and continue to help the few you know and give of what little you have. Because someday you will find that you have helped people you never even realized you helped, and what you gave was all that was needed."

Then the voice was gone.

It felt like a wonderful dream, but I knew it had happened. Peace and joy were overflowing in my soul. I decided to take a walk. I got up, put on a jacket, and started walking down the road. I soon saw an old woman who was having trouble crossing. I rushed to her side and as we walked, we chatted a little. After we had crossed the road, she looked at me and said, "I never knew someone could be so kind to take an interest in me and help me the way you did." I smiled and started walking home.

"Thank you Lord."

Realizing What Christ Did

2008-03-31T01:57:00.000-07:00

There are so many times we Christians forget what Christ had to go through for us on the cross. I know I have, and I’m ashamed that I could forget even once what He suffered. There are times when we need to be reminded of how much it took for us to have this amazing gift. Especially us “older” Christians. When we’re first saved by the precious blood of Christ, we realize how incredible it is that we have been forgiven and made perfect before God. The joy and peace we feel is like nothing we’ve ever experienced before. But somehow, and at some point, it’s almost like our spiritual senses get dulled as we grow “older.” We start to hear the message over and over and over, and we’re like, “Yeah, Christ died for me, it’s great.” But I don’t think it is. We thank Christ for what He’s done and then we get on with our lives. Like it didn’t really matter one way or the other. I think we need to go back and think about just how much Christ suffered for us. I’ve recently been reading a book called Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem. Grudem gives a very gruesome description of the physical aspects of what Christ went through when He was dying on the cross:

“Many readers of the Gospels in the ancient world would have witnessed crucifixions and thus would have a painfully vivid mental picture upon reading the simple words “And they crucified him” (Mark 15:24). A criminal who was crucified was essentially forced to inflict upon himself a very slow death by suffocation. When the criminal’s arms were outstretched and fastened by nails to the cross, he had to support most of the weight of his body with his arms. The chest cavity would be pulled upward and outward, making it difficult to exhale in order to be able to draw a fresh breath. But when the victim’s longing for oxygen became unbearable, he would have to push himself up with his feet, thus giving more natural support to the weight of his body, releasing some of the weight from his arms, and enabling his chest cavity to contract more normally. By pushing himself upward in this way the criminal could fend off suffocation, but it was extremely painful because it required putting the body’s weight on the nails holding the feet, and bending the elbows and pulling upward on the nails driven through the wrists. The criminal’s back, which had been torn open repeatedly by a previous flogging, would scrape against the wooden cross with each breath.....In some cases, crucified men would survive for several days, nearly suffocating but not quite dying. This was why the executioners would sometimes break the legs of a criminal, so that death would come quickly....” ( pp. 572-573)

Mmm....that just sends chills down my spine. It puts me in awe of my Savior. Jesus went through that for me?!? *bows her head in shame* I do not deserve such love! But you know what’s even more horrible than all that physical torture? Christ bore the wrath of God. He experienced God’s wrath to it’s fullest. To quote again from the same source,

“Jesus had become the object of the intense hatred of sin and vengeance against sin which God had patiently stored up since the beginning of the world.” (Systematic Theology, Wayne Grudem, p. 575)

It leaves me - speechless.

To think that Christ, who was and is perfect, would bear all that for me, a sinner. How can I not give Him my all? How can I not live every moment for Him? How can I not seek to worship, adore, and bring glory to Him every day? The problem is, I don’t. It’s a constant battle with my flesh, and so many times, I give in. But God is gracious and He helps me get out of the mire of sin. He gives me the strength to move another two steps forward- to keep pressing on.

An Intro

2008-03-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

So I’ve decided to start a blog...all my friends have said I needed to get one, but I was like, why? Who wants to read about my musings and thoughts? What kind of impact can it have? Well, I’ve decided that words are powerful. I mean, look at what God did- He gave us the entire Bible! Of course, my words and thoughts can be in no way compared to God’s. He is the God of the universe. I am just a poor, sinful servant. One of the things that I think is so incredible about God is that He can use a sinner like me to further His kingdom and glorify Him. Wow. That is incomprehensible! But there’s something more amazing than that...God not only uses me, but He loves me. I am a child of His, and He treats me as His daughter and friend. Even though I continually fail in so many ways and grieve Him, He still loves me! Oh, the ways of God cannot be understood! I will never grasp why He loves me so much! So if you, by Providence, get blessed or encouraged or even inspired by this blog, then I praise the Lord that He is able to use it in such a way! I hope you enjoy reading as much as I will enjoy sharing! :)

Many blessings to all who read this!