There it shows its ugly face again. Self. Ugg. Will it never leave me alone?
You know, God is very particular and loving towards His children. He doesn't just say, "Here's my plan for you, do it." No, He says, "Here's my plan for and this is exactly how I want you to fulfill that plan." Of course, it's never that easy, because it isn't like God just goes along with the flow of today's day and age and tells you 'here's your hamburger, drink and fries.' No sirree, love is much more work than that. God give us that homemade bread, and homegrown vegetables, and the purified water, and that, my friends, is no easy path. There is a price to pay for loving, but just like the homemade bread and purified water, it is so much more worth loving than never to love at all. Christ loved us - He gave us His life. I love Him back, and I give Him mine. But you see, what mySelf doesn't understand, is that I have to make a sacrifice too, and that means that Self has to die. I am crucified with Christ that I might live. Still, that dern Self is so stubborn, so the battle rages on. And sometimes, it seems as though Self is making a headway on the battleground; but Christ's love swells within me and squishes puny Self until it runs and hides its face in cowardice-waiting until it can find its courage again.
But the longer it waits, the stronger I grow in Christ. Making it that much easier to defeat Self when it starts peeking its head around the corner once more. Eventually, bit by bit, battle after battle, it starts to realize that it's not really my will, and never was, even in the simple and miniscule things in life (for that's truly where Self gets the most bold). Self starts to see how it always has been, is, and always will be, God's will every single step of the way.
Truly God does love us with the greatest love that has ever been known.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. ~John 3:16